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| Boehner admits his first thought was just to hit Pelosi with the mallet but then thought taking her Barbie would give him more leverage. |
The Obamacare debate has come to head in Washington D.C., as
Republican Speaker of the House, John Boehner has stolen Democrat and Minority
Leader, Nancy Pelosi’s limited edition 1973 Disco Barbie.
Boehner has promised he will cut off the Barbie doll’s head if
Obamacare is not repealed.
“I have her Disco Barbie and I am prepared to use my G.I.
Joe issued army knife to dismember her if Obamacare continues as planned,” Boehner
said.
Pelosi received a cut and paste ransom note from Boehner
informing her of the hostage situation. She vows she will not sit back and
take this blatant and ruthless threat.
“I am giving Boehner five days to give me my Barbie back or
I’m telling Obama and you just wait Mr. Speaker of the House because you’re
going to get it,” Pelosi said. “I’ve already told Biden, and he is very upset
with this situation.”
Biden confirmed his knowledge of the Barbie hostage. Pelosi
came to him Barbie-less and in tears on Friday.
Biden is very disappointed in Boehner and commented on the
Ohio republican knowing better.
“I took Boehner aside and said he needs to give Barbie back
to Pelosi because she’s a nice girl and this isn’t how we treat nice girls in
our neighborhood. I went on to say this is not how we get what we want,” Biden
said. “Boehner responded with an ‘I don’t want to.’”
Boehner then reportedly stuck his tongue out at Biden. Biden
told him his actions are “mean”.
“Boehner then looked me in the eye and said, ‘I know you are
but what am I?’ It was a question I was unprepared for,” Biden said. “I just
looked at him and said, ‘You just wait until Obama gets home young man. I’m
going to tell him everything. You won’t be smirking then, will you?’”
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| Pelosi received this Polaroid along with a ransom note. Pelosi said not to be fooled by Barbie's smile as she can feel her pain. |
The fight over Obamacare’s implementation still continues as
Pelosi patiently waits to be reunited with Disco Barbie. She gave her final
pleas on The Capitol steps yesterday afternoon.
“Ken is worried about Barbie,” Pelosi said. “Enough with the
games Boehner, you’re hurting me and the whole Barbie Disco Kingdom. Barbie was
set to be crowned Disco Dancing Queen, but you had to go and ruin the whole
thing. The dance has now been cancelled.”
Pelosi’s Justice Sandra O’Connor limited edition Barbie gave
a court order to Boehner after the press conference to return Disco Barbie
immediately.
Obama had this to say about the hostage crisis at hand.
“I had a heart to heart discussion with Boehner where I told
him how disappointed I am in him and how I know he didn’t mean to take Pelosi’s
Barbie. It was simply a misunderstanding that got out of hand,” Obama said. “I
told him he was a good boy and I know he will rectify the situation soon.”
Obama said he doesn’t like being the hard one on his
Congress. He knows they are all in this together and they will all learn as
they grow.
“I don’t like to be the tough one, but someone has to,”
Obama stated. “Although Boehner should be warned, if I find out little Miss
Pelosi did not receive her doll back, I will have to take out the old belt and no
one wants it to come to that.”
Boehner has not mentioned the talk with Obama but did not
seem to show remorse over taking the Barbie without permission. He only had
this to say, “Pelosi and the democrats started it.”
