Women not human, science claims

LIZZIE BIBBS
Science and Mankind Review

Scientists have released a study which proves women are not humans but a mythical, supernatural being whose sole purpose is to seduce mankind and eventually take over the world.

Doctor Richard VanSmute has determined no matter how cute
and inocent women may look, they are soul sucking vampires.

“There’s a reason women were put in their place for so long,” Doctor Richard VanSmute, head of the study said. “They’re like vampires except instead of blood, they suck your soul. They’re soul sucking vampires.”

The study is considered to be the most comprehensive report ever published on the subject of women.

“We have determined women are more demon than human,” VanSmute said. “I ask you, what other creature can bleed for seven days straight and not die?”

VanSmute studied other animals and found most would die within the second or third day.

“We found with the amount of blood a women bleeds, they should be dead long before the seven days are up. Most monkeys died within the first five hours and men died within a day,” VanSmute said. “We are pretty sure the only way to kill a woman is by stabbing her in the heart.”

The study also shows how women use their puppy eyes and tears to manipulate the souls of men.

“We saw through the use of tears, eyes and even a quick flash of cleavage men are left astray,” VanSmute said. “If we don’t watch out, they really will change the world as we know it.”

VanSmute began the study 12 years after a nasty divorce with his wife.

“After she cheated on me with my best friend, took everything I ever loved and half of all my assets, I thought she must not have a soul,” VanSmute said. “Although it’ll be a few more years until we determine where and if the soul lies in a women but I think the study does show something terribly inhuman about these creatures.”

After recent claims of Obama and even the pope being the Anti-Christ, VanSmute is sure the Anti-Christ will be a woman.

“The Anti-Christ won’t be in a suit in tie,” VanSmute said. “Mark my words, the Anti-Christ will be packaged in lipstick, high heels and a nice rack. In fact I am fairly positive the Anti-Christ might be the entire women race.”

VanSmute would like to put the whole world on red alert against women to keep the apocalypse at bay.

“I am on the fight to not only put women back in the kitchen but in cages,” VanSmute said. “It’s the only way to maintain a future for the planet Earth.”