Titanic tribute ship shows off its top-notch third class treatment

BY LIZZIE BIBBS
RMS Times

While first class passengers aboard the MS Balmoral, enjoyed caviar and five course meals similar to the ones served during the fatal Titanic’s maiden and only voyage, third class passengers had their own equally worthy meals for peons, kidney pie and fricassee rabbit.
The MS Balmoral sailed from Liverpool on April 12, tracking the Titanic exact route as a memorial for the 100th anniversary of the ship's sinking which killed between 1,490 and 1,635 people. 

"What better way to commemorate the anniversary of a ship who yields about a 32 percent survival rating than to track its footsteps?" Captain John Fry asked. "This time though, we're planning on making it all the way to New York and if not we have enough life boats for at the very least the first and half of the second class passengers."

The Balmoral went the extra mile by separating their passengers into first, second and third class living quarters and also requiring all third class passengers to go through a health inspection before boarding the vessel.

"We don't want a lice infestation leaking into the second or first class cabins," Fry said. 

The third class passengers received moderately good care which is more than most immigrants and the poor are use to.
“I can’t believe they actually fed us,” Penelope Kidder, a third class passenger said. “That was a really nice surprise.”
The third class passengers said the facilities were amazing considering they were given beds and did not have to sleep on the floor.
The rooms also featured electric lighting and a water basin for washing instead of a small bucket filled with cold water.
“I could not believe as a third class passenger, I was given a room and not just locked down in steerage without light,” Kidder said. “It’s a real honor to be able to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the Titanic’s sinking in such style.”
The first and second class passengers were just glad they were not forced to mingle with the dirty immigrants.
“It’s like they’re not even on the ship,” Renee Fielder, a first class passenger said. “It’s also a comfort to know someone is keeping the rats company and away from the first class cabins.”
Third class passengers said the rats were high quality vermin and not carriers of cholera or eosinophilic meningitis.
There were however some reports of third class passengers catching typhus but ship medics said it is unclear if the small outbreak was from the rodents or from the passengers' general grubbiness.
“It’s hard to tell where the typhus came from. You could say it was from the rats but in the end who is dirtier the third class or the rats?” Gregory June, the head doctor on Balmoral asked. “It’s a tough call.”
Even the Balmoral’s sick passengers still seem to be pleased with the service of the ship.
“I can’t believe I actually got seen by a doctor,” Selma McDerman said. “To top it off the third class’ medical office only had a few blood stains on the mattresses which I was told were old as they were bought used.”
Many third passengers also enjoyed the gates where they could see the halls leading to the nicer first and second class areas.
“Even if I couldn't reach them I could at least see something. Other ships would just have locked doors,” Kidder said.
Third class passengers even had outdoor privileges on the same deck where the first and second class dogs were aloud to wander.
All third class passengers sailed in the styles of 1912 with women in plain and homely dresses and men in their stained long johns and khaki colored paints held on by suspenders.
“I thought some third class passengers might have had a suit even if it was older and worn but after watching James Cameron’s Titanic, it was clear to me there was only one way a third class man dressed,” George Seaman said.
When it came time to commemorate the Titanic’s sinking at around 2:20 a.m. on April 15 all the first and second class passengers were called on deck for a moment of silence as they dropped several flower-filled wreathes into the waters. The third class passengers were told they would have their chance after the first and second class were taken care of.
“When we finally got up to deck, it was about an hour later and we dropped bread crumbs into the water,” Kidder said. “Also we didn’t get exactly a moment of silence as the first class passengers were drinking and partying in the ballroom but it was close enough.”
All third class passengers said they felt they were treated above normal.
“I could not have asked for better treatment as a third class passenger,” Kidder said. “The Balmoral made me feel as if there was a lower fourth class hidden somewhere beneath the ship.”

Jesus is proclaimed lord of hide-and-seek

BY LIZZIE BIBBS
International Hide-and-Seek Chronical

The International Hide-and-Seek Organization (IHSO) is awarding Jesus with an honor for his hide-and-seek skills.
"If we can find him, we will be awarding Jesus with the Champion of Hide-and-Seek plaque and crown," George McFollin, president of IHSO said. "I mean this guy really is the master and lord of hide-and-seek. My four year old wishes she had his mad skills."
Jesus is being called by many, the "master of hide-and-seek." Stories about finding Jesus have been sweeping the internet and have been heard inside churches for years.

An image of what is engraved on the plaque Jesus will be receiving
for his "mad skills" of hide-and-seek.

David Brown, a 20 year old going to the University of Miami claims he found Jesus as he was about to take a shower in his fraternity house before his morning class.
"I pulled back the curtain and this man was standing there as I am standing there with my bare ass to the wind and I screamed," Brown said. "Jesus grinned at me and he said, 'You found me'."
Brown said he stood there in shock as Jesus "giggled like a sorority girl." It was then that Jesus ran into the kitchen and began counting.
"He said it was my turn to hide now," Brown said. "I heard him counting in the kitchen and I just thought maybe I wasn't quite over my acid trip but when I came out of the bathroom a half an hour later he was waiting for me."
Jesus stood outside the bathroom door and waited for the door to open. According to Brown when he opened the door Jesus said he was a horrible hider.
"He said 'Wow you're an easy find. Well you're it now.' He then ran down the hall and I haven't seen him since," Brown said.
Brown said several of his fraternity's alumni have reported finding Jesus after they graduated college.
"I've heard legends of Jesus playing hide-and-seek but now I am a true believer," Brown said.
Brown is not the only one reporting to find Jesus during a game of hide-and-seek. Jesus is appearing worldwide hiding behind trees, cardboard boxes and underneath blankets at homeless shelters.
Sightings are being reported from such places as London, England,  New York City and Beijing, China.
Alena Muroch, 54 years old from Moscow, Russia, said she found Jesus underneath a pile of dirty laundry.
"I was picking up my laundry off my bedroom floor when I grab what I thought was my white sheet, turns out it was Jesus' robe," Muroch said.
Muroch said Jesus jumped up in the same excitement and happy demeanor as when Brown found him.
"He kept saying 'You found me. You found me.'," Muroch said. "I was shocked and I must admit a little confused. I had no idea I was playing the game. It's not everyday you find Jesus."
Muroch said Jesus soon found her hanging laundry in the basement about an hour later.
"Jesus looked at me with his deep brown eyes and said, 'You call this hiding?' He then said I was 'it' and left," Muroch said.
Harold Brock, once a New York City homeless man who now runs a McDonald's franchise outside the city, found Jesus in a dumpster outside of Luigi's Pizza Shop.
"I was looking for scraps of food when Jesus sprang up from underneath a pile of empty pizza boxes. He said, 'I found you' and I have to admit it scared me," Brock said. "At first I thought he was going to call the police and I began to ran."
Brock said he thought perhaps it was Luigi himself cracking down on the homeless behind his shop.
Brock claims Jesus yelled after him, "That's right it's your turn to hide but don't worry I'll find you. The finding part is what I'm good at."
Brock ran to the Sacred Heart Homeless Shelter, where he decided to get a bite to eat and gather what had just happened to him.
"I thought about who had jumped out at me and I knew it wasn't the owner of the shop," Brock said. "Then I thought about his clothes, a white robe with a red sash coming down his right shoulder and that's when it hit me, I found Jesus."
Brock said it did not take long to confirm his discovery as there was a picture of Jesus painted on the shelter's walls and the painting was uncanny to the man he saw underneath the pizza boxes.
"Jesus then found me later that night as I was sleeping," Brock said. "I opened up my eyes and saw him looking down on me with that crazy grin of his."
Jesus told Brock he was now "it" again and then summed up his search for Brock as the "hardest bugger to find yet."
According to Brock Jesus was very impressed with his hiding skills.
"As Jesus was leaving he said I'll have to save you for another day," Brock said. "So I guess Jesus saved me."
Brock said he has not seen Jesus since but he did manage to find a job through the homeless shelter and eventually found a job at a McDonalds where he rose to the top.
"You know, being homeless and all, I've seen some crazy shit in my lifetime but nothing quite tops my game of hide-and-seek with Jesus," Brock said. "I found Jesus and didn't even know I was looking. Now that's a champ."

God says it's not global warming, it's menopause

A picture Earth taken from NASA's Hasselblad Camera. Although Earth my look normal, God says her inner hormones are going haywire as she enters menopause.

BY LIZZIE BIBBS
The Light Years New Herald

God has released a statement declaring scientist are wrong about global warming and claims the earth is simply going through menopause.
"Those weird change in weather patterns, those are merely hot flashes and mood swings," God said.
God said although the menopause is unpleasant and could be a game changer in the world's climate, he still sees earth's adolescent stage as the epitome of out of control.
"You could not pay me to relive those days," God said. "Every month another volcano erupted and earthquakes were started just by looking at her the wrong way."
God said there was even a long lasting argument between the earth and sun which caused the ice age.
"The sun just couldn't put up with the earth's immatureness. He shined on the earth but only at a safe and far distance," God said.
God said at least the Earth is dealing with her menopause in somewhat of a more mature manner.
"As of right now, nothing has gone extinct," God said. "Those poor dinosaurs. I really like the brutes. They were quite entertaining."
Earth refused to comment on her menopause but God said that is to be expected.
"She really has always been rather shy and when it comes to something this personal, you'd be more successful making Pluto a planet again," God said.
Although God is concerned with the way Earth is dealing with her menopause.
"I thought after the industrial revolution I was sure she was done with her chain smoking," God said.
It appears not only is Earth refusing to take mood altering hormones, she is also back to inhaling the Carbon Dioxide.
"Don't get me wrong, Earth has never fully given up smoking but she was down to a pack a day at one point," God said.
God said she really hit rock bottom when Mars went through a mid-life crisis and broke off their 5,679 year marriage last month.
"Her precipitation has gone up. She just cannot stop crying," God said. "She's been watching Steel Magnolias and eating whole boxes of chocolate for two weeks straight."
God claims Mars and Earth have had a pretty rocky relationship.
"They've been on again off again since the Cretaceous Period," God said. "They should have never gotten married."
Mars said he was tired of Earth and her constant complaining.
"She kept on telling me she misses the Mars that had water," Mars said. "Well I gave up the water gig millenniums ago honey. Sorry I got sick and tired of pesticides growing on me and leaching off of every resource I had."
Mars said he is no longer on the same page as Earth and he says although God believes it is the menopause, he has another theory.
"She's been nuts for years," Mars said. "That broad has been on the brink of a mental breakdown ever since Rome was defeated but you know what? I stuck with her but enough is enough sweetheart."
Mars is rumored to be currently dating the Black Hole but nothing has been confirmed.
"Am I dating? That's for me to know and for Earth not to find out," Mars said. "The last time she caught me cheating, Pangaea split. I hate to be the reason for L.A. sinking or the Rockies finally erupting."
God said Earth will move on but until then he is trying to convince her to take some "much needed hormones and anti-depressants."
Earth keeps telling God she his healing through natural remedies but God is skeptical whether her route is even natural or just an excuse to be lazy and unresponsive.
"Earth keeps on talking about taking the natural route to curing her menopause and depression. I don't call cigarettes and a tub of Ben and Jerry's natural but whatever," God said. "I guess she'll heal in her own time as for those who inhabit her, perhaps you'll have better luck than the dinosaurs."

Mary of Nazareth asks for restitution from deadbeat dad

LIZZIE BIBBS
The A.D. Times

Mary of Nazareth is suing God for years of unpaid child support. Mary claims she birthed and raised God's only son, Jesus with not even so much as a thank you.
"For 30 years, Jesus has lived under my roof, eaten my food and has been clothed by me and all without the support of his deadbeat dad," Mary said.
The Court of Nazareth said God only owes Mary 14 years of backed up child support not the 30 she was striving to receive.
"It is clear God owes Mary some sort of reimbursement but under law it would only be for the first 14 years of life because after that Jesus is now an adult and should be married to virgin bride instead of sucking his mother of her assets," The Honorable Judge Gregory of Bethlehem said.
Upon hearing of Gregory's ruling God fully objected.
"I gave her a gift damn it, God's only son. Where's my thank you?" God said. "It was a painless birth and as for me saying thank you, I'm pretty sure eternal salvage is pretty big ass thank you."
God said Mary is ungrateful for everything he has ever done for her.
"I chose her because I thought she would be a submissive mother," God said. "No wonder [Mary's husband] Joseph checked out early. If I could die, my heart attack would have come years ago."
Mary said she thinks God is over reacting and has never fully appreciate her sacrifice.
"I'm ungrateful? Give me a break my precious Lord," Mary said. "How would you like an angel telling your virgin self she is going to pop out a kid. I didn't even get to have any fun before giving birth. Waking up pregnant; how's that for fair?"
Mary said he could have at least given her a taste of the conception.
Furthermore Mary said her body has never fully healed after the birth of Jesus.
"It might have been a painless birth but let me tell you it wasn't exactly a picnic giving birth to Jesus," Mary said. "Painless? Yes. Comfortable? You should ask the shepherds and all the pilate in the world would never put my stomach back to the way it used to be."
Mary is asking for full restitution from the damage the pregnancy did to her body.
Mary said she was also never given full instruction on how to raise Jesus to be the son of God.
"Lets not forget the years of cultivating Jesus to be a carpenter and then he decides he'd rather talk to large crowds on a mountain top and walk on water," Mary said. "I did not want to raise a politician."
Mary said Joseph spent hours trying to teach Jesus to make cabinets and tables.
"I love my son but the whole carpenter lifestyle was just too much for him," Mary said. "He came home with broken thumbs numerous times. The kid just could not use a hammer and did I ever see a penny for hospital bills from his father? I think not."
God said he was always watching his son and he thought that was good enough.
"I was there in spirit. Give me a break I have a whole world to run here," God said. "He had Joseph for Christ sakes!"
Mary said we all have issues and business to deal with but it is not an excuse to leave your son without knowing his true father.
"It's an identity crisis," Mary said. "Every time I hear God gripe I feel like playing him the song 'Cat's Cradle.' In the end like father, like son they both eventually abandoned me but at least Jesus could keep his hands to himself."
Judge Gregory has not released the full amount God owes Mary but an amount is to be calculated and revealed to God sometime next week.

A New Year, A New Diamond

LIZZIE BIBBS
International Jewelry Review

Aye's Jewelry is announcing the launch of the Sangre Diamond. This 30 karat jewel, can be added to rings, necklaces and bracelet.

As a bonus Aye's is offering a helping hand with every diamond bought.

“The great thing about the Sangre Diamond is with every diamond you purchase it comes with a genuine human hand the diamond cost to harvest, free of charge,” Gerry Brino, Chief Executive Officer of Aye's Jewelry said.

You can add the diamond to your favorite necklace or you can buy the Sangre Diamonds jewelry readily made and set to go.

Brino suggests the $15,000 Sangre Diamond engagement ring for the real lover. This ring comes with two human hands and a picture of the militia you helped support.

Brino suggests to use your human hand to store your precious rings or as a nice table center piece.

“I bought my wife three Sangres and we dipped two of our hands in gold and use them as wonderful bookends,” Brino said.

Brino said the diamond plus a hand promotion will only last for a limited a time.

“A diamond may last forever but hands decompose and we only have a limited number of hands to give away,” Brino said.

Aye's Jewelry says they guarantee their diamonds comes directly from the source of Angola, The Ivory Coast, Zimbabwe and the Congo.

“We don't take the short cuts. We get our diamonds direct from the source which makes our hands that much more valuable,” Brino said.

A study in 2007 shows six percent of jewelers do not know where their diamonds are harvested from because they do not have an auditing process to trace a diamond back to their source of origin.

“We do not just trace diamonds back to their country of origin, we trace them back to the slave or underpaid worker who personally harvested the jewel and graciously gave up their hand and we're happy to do that,” Brino said.

Brino said there has been a bad vibe with conflict diamonds every since such media as Kanye West's song Diamonds from Sierra Leon and Edward Zwick's film Blood Diamond starring Lenoardo DiCaprio and Djimon Hounsou hit the pop culture world.

“I don't see our selling of the Sangre Diamonds as supporting warfare,” Brino said. “We are providing a third world country with an economy and supplying our country with beautiful objects to display our wealth and prosperity.”

Brino prefers to take what he calls the Marilyn Monroe model of “Diamonds are a Girl's best friend.”

“Diamonds are a girl's best friends and man's best apology,” Brino said.

Brino said by adding the bonus hand, it displays the true value of the diamond.

“After all we're a consumers' economy and if the consumers want a diamond we will get that shiny piece of carbon at whatever the cost,” Brino said. “By giving them a hand we say, you're diamond's priceless plus a hand.”

Aye's Jewelery is also set to introduce their Sangre Emeralds which come straight from the mines of Columbia. The emeralds will be introduced in March of this year and will come with your very own orphaned child who personally mined the emerald for your enjoyment.

“This is a ingeniously crafted emerald and you get your own personal orphan who knows how to take care of your emerald. It is a real prize," Brino said. "The fact your orphan child will keep the emerald nice and shiny for years to come, is just an added bonus.”

Each orphan comes emerald handler certified.

“The only thing that is not guaranteed, is the orphan's love for you but in the end you'll know how much the person who purchased the emerald loves you and what could be better than that?” Brino asks.

The Sangre Diamond collection is available in stores next week and they will launch the emerald collection on March 5 but they are taking pre-orders.

“This collection will not last long so order yours today. It's worth it's weight in both hands and at least one child,” Brino said. 

The United Kingdom admits to wrongful introducing universal health care

LIZZY BIBS

FFX News International 

The United Kingdom has finally admitted that they hate their universal health care plan as much as Americans do.

“If I wanted healthcare, I would buy it myself from a private sector,” Bryan Stockington, from Stockholm, England said.

Stockington would not say what he did for a living but did convey it’s his choice to give his money to a multi-million dollar company.

“If I’m sick and dying of let’s say cancer, then someone might as well be making a profit because I sure as hell won’t be,” Stockington said. “In fact I’m pretty sure if I didn’t receive government handouts, the cancer would not only take out my body but my bank account as well and that’s our God given right that the Parliament has taken from us.”

Stockington said God never wanted people to depend on the government for their health.

“After all it’s in the Bible, ‘In sickness and in health I have the right to choose who will profit from both’,” Stockington said. “Or is that my marriage vows? I always confuse those two. I guess in the end I’m saying look at what depending on the government did to Jesus.”

Stockington said whether it be in the Bible or in his wedding, he has vowed to be able to choose who gives him his daily insulin shot and it sure was not the politicians up in their “high towers of London”.

“I feel as if the government is saying, well we know you’re a blue collar. Working for eight pounds an hour won’t pay for the thousands upon thousands of pounds worth of treatment. Well how do you know I haven’t won the lotto yet?” Stockington asked. “It’s really just plain insulting.”

Stockington said he feels as if he’s living in a work of fiction or perhaps a narcissist’s dream.

“It’s almost as if I’m living in George Orwell’s 1984 or perhaps in the mind of Ann Rand. If Rand has taught anything it’s that capitalism always works. It never fails. So government, get your damn hands off my healthcare,” Stockington said.

Stockington said when looking at history, it was not until the 1940s after the Great Depression, when universal healthcare came to became a part of everyday life.

“For thousands of years we lived as natural human beings paying for our own healthcare,” Stockington said. “Sure it was for leaches and flesh eating maggots and not for the high technical day of radiation and CAT scans. But if I want to pay for leaches and maggots I should be able to pay for them without the government telling me I need an ultrasound or some other scientific logic that costs a whole hell load of money.”

According to Stockington he pays for healthcare with his taxes therefore he is also paying for the deadbeats who just want to get sick on the government’s dollar.

“These people don’t even want to get well,” Stockington said. “They just want to milk the government for all it’s worth and remain sick and decrepit without ever taking responsibility for their own health.”

Robert Griffin, an honored FXX News blogger, has another theory about the universal healthcare system.

“In the end it all boils down to one thing, population control,” Giffin said. “All universal healthcare systems across the globe have secretly started death panels. I should know they decided to kill my grandma three months ago.”

Griffin’s personal experience with the death panels have left a lasting mark on him.

“I was out of town and she was what some refer to as a shut-in but nobody came and helped her when she keeled over from a heart attack in her sleep,” Griffin said. “No one came and gave her CPR. She was a 99 year-old women just left in her PJs dead from something as curable as a heart attack.”

Griffin has a started a blog entitled, They’re Coming for You Next which is dedicated to making the public aware of what he calls, the government’s ultimate plan.

“They came for my grandma and pretty soon they’ll be building death camps where all 99 year old grandmas will be chain to their beds so they can die in their sleep from heart attacks,” Griffin said.

Griffin understands some may remain sketpical of the U.K.'s citizens finally getting fed up over their healthcare.

"Some people might say, oh that's just a small number griping about the government take over. Well I'm here to tell you that there are at least 60 of us," Griffin said. "And that's not including me."

Griffin applauds the United States for keeping the money in the hands of corporations instead of the government whose only gain in taking hold of health care is killing off everyone.

“The United States is the only remaining industrialized country without some form of universal access and I applaud them for keeping corporate millionaires not just in the pockets of every citizen but in their sick beds as well,” Griffin said.

Griffin has a strong feeling the U.K. is headed towards full out communism.

“The laws of economics keeps telling us that the United Kingdom is a capitalist society. Well who makes those laws up? How do I know it was hundreds of years of different philosophical genius and not just one big Marxist conspiracy?” Griffin said. “The simple answer is I don’t know and neither can any of you.”

Occupy Christmas movement takes over local Elementary School

Lizzie Bibbs

HHES Newsletter

Fifteen students from Mrs. Griffth's first grade class at Headland Heights Elementary School have begun an Occupy Christmas protest outside their classroom when they discovered what they say is one percent of their class who receive every present off their Christmas list each year.

The students have set up tents in the hallways where they remain for the whole school day or until the bell rings and Mrs. Griffth sends them to the principal's office for insubordination.

“Mrs. Grittth said we're making a mess in the hallway,” Kyle Rooter said. “I see it as standing up for my Christmas rights. I want everything on my list this year like Frank Timons.”

Timons is the only student in a class of 30 who received everything he asked Santa for last Christmas.

“Do I realize that one out of 30 is not one percent? No lady I'm only in first grade. I'm not even sure what a percent is. I do know Frank [Timons] parents must pay Santa off though,” Rooter said.

Many students feel Timons parents are paying Santa off because they own the local mall and two stores downtown.

“It's easy to see Frank's parents are making backdoor deals with Santa. They say if Santa gets Frank everything he wants, they'll let him shop for free at all their stores,” Rooter said.

Many children have also noticed their gifts come from the mall or stores the Timons own like the local Dollar General.

Occupiers, Jillian Heffsteller (right) and Amanda Scrantino stand in
protest of Santa's unfair gift giving practices

“Frank Timons got a Wii last year as well as five brand new games, a remote control firetruck and a brand new pair of Nike shoes that blink red and blue lights when he walks,” Jillian Hoffsteller said.

Heffsteller said she only got a new dress and a doll from Santa.

“The doll I got was clearly from the dollar store,” Heffsteller said. “I ask you where's my Wii? Where's my new pair of Nike shoes? I guess my mom's job at the Wal-Mart doesn't make enough to payoff the man in the big red suit.”

Another student, Gregory Froster said he had a “much worser” Christmas than Heffsteller.

“She at least got a doll. The only presents I got from Santa were in my stocking, a pair of socks and a frosty PEZ dispenser,” Froster said. “Clearly I got nothing off my Christmas list.”

Timons denies his classmates accusations.

“I have just been a good boy all year. If they tried being nice instead of protesting all day long, they might get all their presents as well,” Timons said. “My parents don't pay anyone off.”

Heffsteller denies Timons has been good all year long.

“Last year in Kindergarten he pulled on one of my pigtails so hard that I started to cry. Timons can do whatever he wants and still get all his presents, there's money involved,” Heffsteller said.

Furthermore some students say they have been better than Timons but still have not received a Christmas with a full list of presents.

“I was a lot nicer than Frank last year,” Rooter said. “I never pulled on Jill's pigtails and I got student of the month twice in a row.”

The Occupy Christmas movement has been gaining support as seven fifth graders, three kindergarteners and 10 fourth graders have joined their cause.

Yesterday third grader Josh Stewart, a Jewish student, joined because he said Santa has yet to even visit him.

Also several parents have put their support behind their students packing them extra snacks and giving them ice cream money.

“My dad said it's about time the Timons got what's coming to them,” Froster said. “He's been mad at Frank's mom and dad ever since they laid him off last year.”

Froster's father was one of five people laid off from the mall's security department and has yet to find a job.

“My dad said he has a few Christmas presents he'd like to give them as well. I'm not sure what that means. If Frank is getting all the presents he wants, I'm sure his parents are too,” Froster said.

Other students admit they too did not receive their full Christmas lists last year but think the Occupy Christmas movement is out of hand.

“Just go to class and learn and get good grades then you can eventually earn enough points and be put on Santa's extremely good kid list and get all your presents,” Sarah Frenner said. “It's called hard work, that's how you earn all your deserved presents.”

Mrs. Griffth said she is just frustrated because it interferes with her work day and creates more work as the janitor ends up cleaning up after the student's mess.

“If it's not candy wrappers than it's their signs they leave behind when in detention,” Griffth said. “Then last Friday they tried to start a fire to stay warm in the drafty hallway. Just come inside the classroom and learn.”

Griffth has tried to force the students to come into the classroom but said it just created more chaos.

“I had students drag in their Barbie tents and camp out underneath my desk. While some of the others stood in the back and marched back and forth all day,” Griffth said. “This is the last year I ask the students what Santa brought them for Christmas last year.”

The occupiers say they are not going anywhere until Santa listens to their demands.

“We may have to stay here all year,” Heffsteller said. “Even if it takes until next Christmas, I'm not moving an inch.”