Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Chickens for pro-life strike in front of egg farm

Chickens from four different farms have now become pro-life advocates and are protesting in front of the Garrette's Farm.

Iowa Farm Exponent 

Local free range chickens have begun a pro-life protest outside of the Garratte poultry farm. 
The Garratte Farm is famous for range free eggs sold at many local markets including the Whole Foods located on West Avenue.
"I let them roam free because I thought it was the right thing to do. Maybe I gave them too much freedom," Joseph Garrette said.
The chickens began gathering late last week starting with around ten chickens camping out but soon word got around and now between 30 to 40 chickens, mostly female are clucking outside the gates of the farm.
Three roosters have joined, Pecker, Reddy and Grommit all three are rumored to have fathered more than 100 chicks in the past year alone.
Police are on full watch with the protesters, wearing their rally gear and keeping the chickens in line.
"I had one hen try to peck me last night," Officer Robert Soho said. "Let's just say she's no longer a free range chicken."
The officers said they understand the chickens first amendments rights but they are not aloud onto the Garratte's property and were told they could only protest on the land between the road and the ditch.
Signs reading, "It's my egg not your 'bawk'" and "I don't eat your eggs" are what the Garratte family wakes up to each morning since the protest began.
"This is the first time I've ever heard them complain," Garratte said. "Unfortunately I have to feed my family and the eggs we eat are before life has even formed."
The chickens are on the other side of the fence and say once an egg is laid, that's the beginning of life.
Many protesters have been standoffish to the media clucking the other way or avoiding eye contact, but one brave hen has chosen to speak with the help of the only local who is fluent in chicken clucks, Ron Potter.
"I lay at least one egg a day and out of those eggs I maybe see 13 of those get fertilized by Grommit our head rooster," Clucky the hen from two farms down said. "I am a pro-lifer and I believe every egg is sacred."
Farm Herman Yessie said if he were to have Grommit fertilize every egg, his farm would be overrun by chickens.
"I have about 50 hens, well I guess about 27 now that some of them run off with this pro-life movement," Yessie said. "If all those hens' eggs were to hatch into chicks, there would be overcrowding and lets be honest those hens can't take care of that many chicks."
Yessie said the hens would expect him to take care of the chicks.
“Then when the chicks become hens and roosters, I'll be the one who has to feed and a whole new cycle of new chicks would be born and I'll be again stuck with them. It'd be never ending and in the end who suffers, me. I will suffer because they eat off of my handouts,” Yessie said.
Yessie said his hens spend most of their days begging for food and chasing around Sparky their dog.
"They're pecking the hand that feeds them," Yessie said.
Yessie also points out the farmers court case McDonald versus Cleveland which settles their right to eat the hens' egg.
"We settle this over 30 years ago," Yessie said. "The court clearly gives us the right to chose which eggs are eaten and which are left to fertilization."
The protesting hens are trying to overturn the ruling some even wearing red tape across their beaks with the word LIFE written in black chicken scratch.
Clucky said she would like to be able to make the decision of how many chicks she can raise up to God.
"I'm a grown hen and I can handle more than Mr. Yessie thinks," Clucky said. "If it becomes too much there are a few schools down the road I can take my chicks too."
Clucky was at one time all for the notion of eating eggs but life took a different turn a few years ago.
"I found Jesus and I realized if God wants me to fertilize 365 eggs a year and raise them, then I can do that," Clucky said.
Clucky said it is a barbaric ritual the way the eggs are tossed aside and left to the cartons where they await their fate to be eaten with a side of bacon.
When asked how Yessie is suppose to find the money to feed all those chicks Clucky was not so concerned.
"Everyone talks about finances. I don't speak in money's terms, I speak in God's terms and he will find Yessie a way to afford all those chicks," Clucky said. “As long as I'm able to lay eggs, those eggs should have the right to become chicks.”
Clucky said it's the eggs who are the real victims.
“The unhatched chicks don't have the voice to say, 'Don't eat me! Let me be fertilized!' Therefore I am their voice,” Cluckey said.
Clucky and the protesters plan on staying put until their demands are met.
"We want the right to life," Clucky said. "Take your hands off my eggs!"


  1. since chicken abortion has been allowed however, crime has plummeted (obscure, unnecessary reference to freakonomics there)

  2. Yes this is true. Crime on the pastures has gone down. Sometimes you just have to get rid of the bad eggs.