Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Jesus is proclaimed lord of hide-and-seek

International Hide-and-Seek Chronical

The International Hide-and-Seek Organization (IHSO) is awarding Jesus with an honor for his hide-and-seek skills.
"If we can find him, we will be awarding Jesus with the Champion of Hide-and-Seek plaque and crown," George McFollin, president of IHSO said. "I mean this guy really is the master and lord of hide-and-seek. My four year old wishes she had his mad skills."
Jesus is being called by many, the "master of hide-and-seek." Stories about finding Jesus have been sweeping the internet and have been heard inside churches for years.
An image of what is engraved on the plaque Jesus will be receiving
for his "mad skills" of hide-and-seek.
David Brown, a 20 year old going to the University of Miami claims he found Jesus as he was about to take a shower in his fraternity house before his morning class.
"I pulled back the curtain and this man was standing there as I am standing there with my bare ass to the wind and I screamed," Brown said. "Jesus grinned at me and he said, 'You found me'."
Brown said he stood there in shock as Jesus "giggled like a sorority girl." It was then that Jesus ran into the kitchen and began counting.
"He said it was my turn to hide now," Brown said. "I heard him counting in the kitchen and I just thought maybe I wasn't quite over my acid trip but when I came out of the bathroom a half an hour later he was waiting for me."
Jesus stood outside the bathroom door and waited for the door to open. According to Brown when he opened the door Jesus said he was a horrible hider.
"He said 'Wow you're an easy find. Well you're it now.' He then ran down the hall and I haven't seen him since," Brown said.
Brown said several of his fraternity's alumni have reported finding Jesus after they graduated college.
"I've heard legends of Jesus playing hide-and-seek but now I am a true believer," Brown said.
Brown is not the only one reporting to find Jesus during a game of hide-and-seek. Jesus is appearing worldwide hiding behind trees, cardboard boxes and underneath blankets at homeless shelters.
Sightings are being reported from such places as London, England,  New York City and Beijing, China.
Alena Muroch, 54 years old from Moscow, Russia, said she found Jesus underneath a pile of dirty laundry.
"I was picking up my laundry off my bedroom floor when I grab what I thought was my white sheet, turns out it was Jesus' robe," Muroch said.
Muroch said Jesus jumped up in the same excitement and happy demeanor as when Brown found him.
"He kept saying 'You found me. You found me.'," Muroch said. "I was shocked and I must admit a little confused. I had no idea I was playing the game. It's not everyday you find Jesus."
Muroch said Jesus soon found her hanging laundry in the basement about an hour later.
"Jesus looked at me with his deep brown eyes and said, 'You call this hiding?' He then said I was 'it' and left," Muroch said.
Harold Brock, once a New York City homeless man who now runs a McDonald's franchise outside the city, found Jesus in a dumpster outside of Luigi's Pizza Shop.
"I was looking for scraps of food when Jesus sprang up from underneath a pile of empty pizza boxes. He said, 'I found you' and I have to admit it scared me," Brock said. "At first I thought he was going to call the police and I began to ran."
Brock said he thought perhaps it was Luigi himself cracking down on the homeless behind his shop.
Brock claims Jesus yelled after him, "That's right it's your turn to hide but don't worry I'll find you. The finding part is what I'm good at."
Brock ran to the Sacred Heart Homeless Shelter, where he decided to get a bite to eat and gather what had just happened to him.
"I thought about who had jumped out at me and I knew it wasn't the owner of the shop," Brock said. "Then I thought about his clothes, a white robe with a red sash coming down his right shoulder and that's when it hit me, I found Jesus."
Brock said it did not take long to confirm his discovery as there was a picture of Jesus painted on the shelter's walls and the painting was uncanny to the man he saw underneath the pizza boxes.
"Jesus then found me later that night as I was sleeping," Brock said. "I opened up my eyes and saw him looking down on me with that crazy grin of his."
Jesus told Brock he was now "it" again and then summed up his search for Brock as the "hardest bugger to find yet."
According to Brock Jesus was very impressed with his hiding skills.
"As Jesus was leaving he said I'll have to save you for another day," Brock said. "So I guess Jesus saved me."
Brock said he has not seen Jesus since but he did manage to find a job through the homeless shelter and eventually found a job at a McDonalds where he rose to the top.
"You know, being homeless and all, I've seen some crazy shit in my lifetime but nothing quite tops my game of hide-and-seek with Jesus," Brock said. "I found Jesus and didn't even know I was looking. Now that's a champ."