|Boehner admits his first thought was just to hit Pelosi with the mallet|
but then thought taking her Barbie would give him more leverage.
The Obamacare debate has come to head in Washington D.C., as Republican Speaker of the House, John Boehner has stolen Democrat and Minority Leader, Nancy Pelosi’s limited edition 1973 Disco Barbie.
Boehner has promised he will cut off the Barbie doll’s head if Obamacare is not repealed.
“I have her Disco Barbie and I am prepared to use my G.I. Joe issued army knife to dismember her if Obamacare continues as planned,” Boehner said.
Pelosi received a cut and paste ransom note from Boehner informing her of the hostage situation. She vows she will not sit back and take this blatant and ruthless threat.
“I am giving Boehner five days to give me my Barbie back or I’m telling Obama and you just wait Mr. Speaker of the House because you’re going to get it,” Pelosi said. “I’ve already told Biden, and he is very upset with this situation.”
Biden confirmed his knowledge of the Barbie hostage. Pelosi came to him Barbie-less and in tears on Friday.
Biden is very disappointed in Boehner and commented on the Ohio republican knowing better.
“I took Boehner aside and said he needs to give Barbie back to Pelosi because she’s a nice girl and this isn’t how we treat nice girls in our neighborhood. I went on to say this is not how we get what we want,” Biden said. “Boehner responded with an ‘I don’t want to.’”
Boehner then reportedly stuck his tongue out at Biden. Biden told him his actions are “mean”.
“Boehner then looked me in the eye and said, ‘I know you are but what am I?’ It was a question I was unprepared for,” Biden said. “I just looked at him and said, ‘You just wait until Obama gets home young man. I’m going to tell him everything. You won’t be smirking then, will you?’”
|Pelosi received this Polaroid along with a ransom note. |
Pelosi said not to be fooled by Barbie's smile as she
can feel her pain.
The fight over Obamacare’s implementation still continues as Pelosi patiently waits to be reunited with Disco Barbie. She gave her final pleas on The Capitol steps yesterday afternoon.
“Ken is worried about Barbie,” Pelosi said. “Enough with the games Boehner, you’re hurting me and the whole Barbie Disco Kingdom. Barbie was set to be crowned Disco Dancing Queen, but you had to go and ruin the whole thing. The dance has now been cancelled.”
Pelosi’s Justice Sandra O’Connor limited edition Barbie gave a court order to Boehner after the press conference to return Disco Barbie immediately.
Obama had this to say about the hostage crisis at hand.
“I had a heart to heart discussion with Boehner where I told him how disappointed I am in him and how I know he didn’t mean to take Pelosi’s Barbie. It was simply a misunderstanding that got out of hand,” Obama said. “I told him he was a good boy and I know he will rectify the situation soon.”
Obama said he doesn’t like being the hard one on his Congress. He knows they are all in this together and they will all learn as they grow.
“I don’t like to be the tough one, but someone has to,” Obama stated. “Although Boehner should be warned, if I find out little Miss Pelosi did not receive her doll back, I will have to take out the old belt and no one wants it to come to that.”
Boehner has not mentioned the talk with Obama but did not seem to show remorse over taking the Barbie without permission. He only had this to say, “Pelosi and the democrats started it.”